- About 20 years ago, a married couple, Jeff and Cassie, both worked at a small junk mail company at which I also worked. One week Jeff was absent from mid-week on. That Friday night Cassie showed up at the local watering hole, sans Jeff.
"Hi, Cass. Where's Jeff?"
"He's still got the flu. And he's really a PITA. 'Cassieeeeee, will you bring me a glass of water? Cassieeeeee, will you go get me a hot fudge sundae?'"
Flash forward to the following Friday. Among the early arrivals at the bar we see Jeff, but not Cassie. Jeff and I sit at a tall round table with our drinks, and I cannot resist: "Cassieeeeee, will you bring me a glass of water? Cassieeeeee, will you go get me a hot fudge sundae?"
Jeff grins and says, "Bitch told you that, huh?"
- Several years prior to that, the company for which we worked had been smaller and in a different location. There our most frequented bar was at a Chinese restaurant.
Jeff worked nights and at that time I was an independent consultant, arranging my time as I wished. Jeff would show up to collect me at around two o'clock every Friday, and we would go "warm up the bar" for our colleagues who would begin to trickle in around five o'clock.
Virtually the entire work force smoked marijuana and it was typical for us to leave drinks on the bar or on a table and tell the bartender that we were going out to "listen to the new speakers" in someone's car. Jeff and I would do this a couple times on a Friday afternoon while having two or three drinks and waiting for the others to arrive.
One afternoon we were sipping our first drink, and I told Jeff I had a new music cassette and I wanted him to listen to one piece from it. "OK, Donnie. What is it?"
"I don't want to tell you."
"It's OK. Whatever it is I'll listen to it."
"It's Chopin's Grande Valse Brilliante, my favorite light classical piece."
"You never know, you might like it."
On finishing our first round we decided to go to the car and smoke a little grass. When we were finished I asked, "Ready?"
"Yeah, OK, but I'm not gonna like it."
I turned it on, sat back, and closed my eyes. About 30 seconds into it I snuck a look at Jeff and his expression had changed from one of resignation to one of interest. A moment later he chuckled. I asked him, "What?" and he waved me off.
When the piece finished he said, "I like it, Donnie."
"Good. So what was that chuckle about?"
He laughed. "Well, I was picturing me and Cassie at a ball, all dressed up. I had a ruffled shirt and pants tucked into tall boots, and she was wearing a very low cut gown that went all the way to the floor, and she was covering her breasts with a fan. At that point where I laughed, she cleaved me."