Some Favorite Lines

(Some because they're so good and some because they're so bad)

• Television:
  
  
  
  • I've seen variations of this credited to FSU Head Coach Bobby Bowden, so perhaps what I heard wasn't original. In the late 1970s or early 1980s, I was watching a college football game, and on one play a running back was faced with several defensive linemen roughly the size of Mack trucks. He lowered his head and plowed into them.
    
    Announcer #1: "Wow! He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear.'"
    
    Announcer #2: "Yeah, well I've seen his grade point average and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
    
    
  • I couldn't stand Howard Cosell, and watched him only on programs I "just had" to see. In my humble opinion he was phony as a three dollar bill, but I have to give him credit for this one.
    
    In the late 1960s or early 1970s, a USC football game was on TV and Cosell was in the broadcast booth. In running down the rosters before the game, he came to O. J. Simpson and said, "This is a young man with a serious character defect."
    
    I believe the reference was to the reputation Simpson had acquired for beating up girlfriends, a habit that police reports would lead one to believe he has not shed.
    
    
  • On being asked his opinion of the singing act, Joe Frazier and the Knockouts: "Joe Frazier can't sing, but who's gonna tell him?" - Muhammad Ali
    
    
  • Chris Schenkel, covering a golf tournament: "Joyce Kilmer must have had this in mind when she wrote Trees."
    
  
  
• Books:
  
  
  
  • "Shut up he explained." - The Young Immigrants, Ring Lardner
    
    
  • ". . . the spiritual home of Russia, where one of the three surviving seminaries continues the hapless production of a dozen priests per year, like eyedropping holy water into Hell." Inveighing We Will Go - William F. Buckley Jr (the quote refers to visiting Zagorsk during the time of the Soviet Union)
  
  
• Movies:
  
  
  
  • The Outlaw Josey Wales
    "I didn't surrender either but they got my horse and made him surrender. They got him pulling a plow up in Kansas, I bet." - Lone Watie (Chief Dan George)
    
    
  • Young Frankenstein
    "What hump?" - Igor (Marty Feldman)
    
    
  • The Lion in Winter
    "Give me a little peace." - Henry II (Peter O'Toole)
    "A little? Why so modest? How about eternal peace? Now there's a thought." - Eleanor of Aquitaine (Katharine Hepburn)
    
    
  • The Princess Bride
    "Have fun storming the castle." - Miracle Max (Billy Crystal)
    (Added October 18, 2008)
    
    
  • Becket
    "Sheathe your sword, Morville, before you impale your soul upon it." - Thomas à Becket (Richard Burton)
    (Added March 16, 2009)
  
  
• Songs:
  
  
  
  • "When rain has hung the leaves with tears"
    Catch the Wind, Donovan
    
    
  • "Once I said I wanted you, I don't remember why"
    How Do You Do? Mouth and MacNeal
    
    
  • "Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies and everyone goes"
    Brother Love's Travelin' Salvation Show, Neil Diamond
    
    
  • "Your friends, Baby, they treat you like a guest"
    Somebody to Love, Jefferson Airplane
    
    
  • "You're my pride and joy et cet'ra"
    Elenore, The Turtles
    
    
  • "You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin' to high Heaven"
    Dead Skunk (In the Middle of the Road), Loudon Wainwright III
    
    
  • "Floating face down in that dirty old river"
    Patches, Dickey Lee
    
    
  • "Who'll take the lady with the skinny legs?"
    Skinny Legs and All, Joe Tex
    
    
  • "And no one heard at all, not even the chair"
    I Am . . . I Said, Neil Diamond
    
    
  • "Pain in my head, there's bugs in my bed, my pants are so old that they shine"
    Bottle of Wine, The Fireballs
    
    
  • "Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you"
    The Air That I Breathe, The Hollies